Guess I’ve finally got all the adrenaline and motivation to write!! (Who am I kidding!! I finally found the time to write!) Well anyways the recent events in the personal lives of a few of my friends and a few souls that their lives have touched (To clarify, I don’t watch Oprah!!) have prompted a vital question in my head. Why would a guy feel insecure about his girl friend, or more importantly when would a guy feel insecure about his girl friend or the relationship!!
Its happened to me! Its happened to my friends! I’ve been told that am getting too close to comfort to someone who is in a “committed relationship”. Ditto a few of my friends!! Well being close to someone is a matter of personal choice.. More importantly a choice that both people concerned make! So can one person be close to another without the like of the other?? Nah, cant see how! So then, if I get comfy with let’s say a “friend’s girlfriend” is it only of my doing?? If I call her repetitively, and talk to her and in more words than I’m “supposed to” (well that sounds more like allowed right?? :) ) she still does have a tongue to ask me to stop it!! So why would this make a guy insecure??
Times changed, tides changed!!! Now, I have friends who’s girl friend is best friends with her ex boy friend.. One of her best friends, a guy part of the group she hangs out with often, asked her out and was truly madly deeply in love with her.. Probably still is.. That sure is a weird scenario. But I like the reasoning the girl had! She said “my boy friend does trust me, just coz someone keeps hitting on me does not mean I end up falling for him… If one doesn’t believe me that much then he has no belief in our relationship either.. Trust me not to dump your friend for a better guy” I told this friend of mine that he sure is lucky to have found a girl like her! (Well even after that statement he didn’t really think I was hitting on her, thankfully)
Well then, would I be ok if my girl friend was like that? What can one do but raise the concerns with his girlfriend? Well, I have experienced a few other modes of handling the issue and am personally not a fan of any of them!! (Not coz I was the “Wrong-er”, more coz of the outcomes of these other “modes”) More so, the comments from this friends gal puts an even bigger question – Where does this sense of insecurity come from?? Lack of trust in the partner, so little self confidence?, so little faith in a relationship? Or the reality of the world that if things can go wrong for someone, it can for you also?
Well, whatever it is I shall tell u when I face it.. As of today, I really don’t have an experience that I can talk about! It would make life simple for the whole world if someone does not hit on your girlfriend… But if you want a girlfriend who is good looking, intelligent, smart and talented, well she will be hit on whether she chooses to tell u or not…. One can’t be around her all day to ensure that no one does hit on her!! Well despite all that is she does choose to live with u she chose wise!! Else, she’s otherwise!! That’s the luck of the draw! Better face it, I guess???? Wat say???
P.S – I know the quotes have been irritating. Its just my mode of remembering or trying to remember forgotten conversations!! Those were words told to me and just wanted a verbatim repetition or atleast attempted one!! I don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, so these were finally words that I did make up!! :) :)
5 comments:
Sounds like you've been watching Oprah and Dr.Phil! Its just about trusting your partner and knowing absoutely that they are committed to you...I've been lucky enough to have a partner that I trust more than I trust myself (and have often told her this). However, this does not mean I do not get the occasional pangs of jealousy...but they are just fleeting, ephemeral feelings, not something that would destroy her friendship with someone else!
No da.. Just to get an idea over how people think! Well u know my story and i have absolutely no qualms abt it. When she is out with friends late and long or she can't talk or come out coz her parents need her for something and all, i do get irritated, but u need to give them their space i think. The smaller things will sort themselves out!
nice post...quite relavant in today' scenario..and i sincerely do believe that times are changing..it is possible to be friends with ur ex..
Ah!
The niceties are well captured mate. Requires quite a bit of mental stamina to 'let go' while not letting go... and to have this loop running without it straining you/your relationship.
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